The flight modus is on, but as Mrs. Abbyton can’t run away, she shout “leave me alone” “Go away”. But Debby is late and behind schedule and wants to hurry up, she takes Mrs. Abbyton by the arm and try to get her out of bed.
Now the fight modus is activated: Mrs. Abbyton hits Debby! Furious Debby left the room slamming the door behind her.
During lunch Debby tells her colleges that they must look out for Mrs. Abbyton because she is violence. From now on Debby’s colleagues approaching Mrs. Abbyton with anxious.
Mrs. Abbyton feels the new attitude of the nursing (the grow of empathy) to her and respond not very well on it. She cooperate lesser and there are more violence incidents.
Within a half year Mrs. Abbyton does not speak anymore and spends whole days lying in bed.
But Mrs. Abbyton is not violence. Mrs. Abbyton could not help it that her departments of Understanding & Thinking does not work very well. Mrs. Abbyton could not help it that her amygdala did take over. Mrs. Abbyton has never asked to get dementia.
The cause of Mrs. Abbyton’s violence is Debby’s bad mood. Debby should had thought before she entered Miss Abbyton’s room:
– Mrs. Abbyton has dementia
– Her empathetic feelings are strong
– Her Understanding & Thinking departments working badly
– I must be careful not to waken up Miss Abbyton’s amygdala
A different start of the day
Debby stands for the room of Mrs. Abbyton, she notice her Irritation & Frustration from the fight with her boyfriend. With these emotions she can’t go in, she knows.
She takes a deep breath through her nose to her stomach, breathes out through her mouth and repeat this three times.
Now with her emotions more in balance she softly knocks on the door and with a smile on her face she slowly enters the room, saying softly “good morning Mrs. Abbyton Debby here”.
While Debby opens the curtains and prepare things in the bathroom, she hums a popular tune from Mrs. Abbyton youth. Slowly Mrs. Abbyton awakes, she recognize the song and memories are coming up.
Softly she starts singing the song and feeling Debby’s smile from the heart she feels good and safe.
Debby sticks out her hands and automatically Mrs. Abbyton grabs these. While they both Singing & humming together, the morning ritual starts without problems and runs nearly automatically in good harmony.
During the dressing Mrs. Abbyton asked if her son went already to school. Debby does not say “ your son is already married and has children of his own, or does not lie saying your son just went out for school.
Instead of that, Debby asked “Does he well on school” ? Instantly Mrs. Abbyton starts telling how her son is doing in school.
Still talking school stories they walk together to the living room, where Debby start folding napkins and without asking she gives Mrs. Abbyton a pile of napkins.
Normally Miss Abbyton don’t dare to do things as she knows, deep inside, she makes mistakes and does things wrong. But now she starts, nearly automatically folding the napkins as she feels that Debby don’t mind if she makes mistakes.
What a liberating feeling to be allowed to do things without feeling the pressure to do well and without the fear for making mistakes.
What a wonderful feeling to be useful again. After a lifetime of Working & Caring for her man and children Mrs. Abbyton missed that feeling.
What a wonderful girl is this, she would introduce her to her son. So instead of ending not speaking and lying whole days in bed, Mrs. Abbyton helps the nursing and is one of the mood maker in the house.